First

I thought after a month of having this blog I should write something in it. I will start it by saying a few things about myself. I'm a short, single, non-conformist, culturally-sensitive Christian man who loves his friends and family and struggles to hate them and leave them as Jesus commanded. I long to be like everyone else, but feel powerful callings to be different than nearly everyone else. The thing in life I want to change about myself is that I get really excited about things at first, but have a history giving up at the last minute. I am naturally a perfectionist that fears failure, but I have learned that I must risk failure to truly live the life God has called me to, whatever that is. My trust in him must never completely waver.

Sometimes I want to be a monk, as long as I would never get lonely. I was raised United Methodist, but now I love everything about contemporary, culturally relevant churches. College made me believe Roman Catholicism may be the right way to go, but I was never truly convinced of it. I never felt called to be a celibate priest or understood the veneration of Mary and the Saints, but I understand the mystery behind it and Greek Orthodoxy. Protestantism is usually too simplicist. I think I would have been alright if I was born to a catholic family, but what would I have grown up to be? A priest or monk is doubtful though possible; maybe a businessman, doctor, or social worker? Would I be as joyful and happy in those professions as I am now in this leg of the journey of my life?

I prefer reading the Church Fathers and Christian scholars to contemporary, easy to read works. Though I love Donald Miller and I like Bill Hybels despite his business influences, and I have not made a decision yet on whether or not Rob Bell has flown the coop. I'm a guy who likes classical Christian literature and contemporary Christian music. I like most of it, some of the fringe bands and the well known ones. I like Caedmon's Call despite our theological differences and still love the Newsboys despite no longer being twelve years old. Third Day, Jars of Clay and Pedro the Lion are also favorites. Oh, and I can't handle listening to only Christian music on the radio, some of it is unoriginal and less than good music. Jeremy Camp gets way too much air play on KLOV and AIR1. When my good Christian CDs are missing or I have played them too much, a lot of "secular music" also helps me unwind and enjoy myself.

I've learned to trust him with the uncertain and scarier parts of Christian living, to go all the way, to not fear failure or make a bad choice. I've applied to a mission agency and several churches this past year and whichever offers me a position first I will take. If it be missions, I have to trust he will take care of my personal needs and give me the financial support I will need. I have to remember at all times I am not the first person to entrust him with these things. I'm excited to begin serving on the field or in a church and right now more excited about the field, but the things the devil seems to tempt me with the most is doubt and worldly pleasures which always seem better in my head than they do in reality. My memory of Ruby Tuesday, the Gap, or a concert is always better than my live experience there. We all need to remember that what God asks us to do is never unusual and that our Father knows best.

Did I mention I dislike cheesy lines? I do, but that one actually says what I wanted to say the best.

Bye for now.